Aftereffects

Last night I went for a great trail run! I just love running at night - its cooler (very nice this time of year), I often have the trail to myself which makes it feel like a great escape & adventure, running under the moonlight is magical for me, and I also usually think about a lot of things from a different perspective. I really cherish these opportunities! Last night's adventure included part of the Wasatch 100 course and it was a little more of an adventure since I grabbed a headlamp w/o checking the batteries. Luckily it was a full moon because the headlamp didn't have much juice!

One of the many subjects I thought about during my run was the aftereffects of Primal Quest. Any time you go through such a long, taxing journey like that, you're guaranteed to have some effects or changes. I'm sure that some of these effects are just short term, but I have a feeling that some will have more of a lasting impact (and hopefully in a good way!)

Physically, I'm recovering very well. No injuries at all, which is really wonderful. The big aftereffect here is that I just don't seem to have the reserves and certainly don't ask me to sprint because it would look like a jog! I went running with my great friend Wendy earlier in the week and she put the hurt on me - I was gasping for air & my legs were burning running uphill - meanwhile, she was talking and telling me stories. Last night was a little better, but I can tell it will be a while before I'm 100%. For this reason, I've decided to run an aid station at the Speedgoat 50K next weekend instead of running it. That's a great race and I highly recommend putting it on your list for next year or future years! Lots of great vertical in a BEAUTIFUL setting! Instead, I'm planning on running the Hurl 50K the following weekend ... one more week to recover!

Mentally and emotionally, well ... some could argue that there needed to be a change there even before the race, but that's another story. Since I've been back, its been a little slow getting back into the swing of things mentally at work. Ok, before you go and tell my boss about this, I am still getting my work done, but I feel a little detatched. Just not as stressed out or concerned about some of the stuff as usual. Its more of an attitude shift - not sure if its good or bad, but its different and kind of strange.

Also during my night time run, I had a flashback to a couple of memories from the race. I was caught off guard by some lightning strikes and I think the surprise somehow jolted these memories. The first memory was one from before the race. I had numerous dreams/nightmares that something really bad was going to happen to me or one of my friends during the race. I dreamed that I was trapped in rapids or pinned in the water - or that I was falling off a sketchy mountain ridge. I knew that this was generated purely by my apprehension of the unknown, but it was such a strong feeling before the race that I updated & validated my beneficiaries for my insurance! Of course, finishing the race with everyone safe and fully intact was a huge relief for me.


The second memory was a recurring theme during the race. There were many times that I could have sworn that I had 4 additional teammates, not 3. Times when I'd look around after we took a short break and wonder where the other teammate was. I swear that I saw another person with us, although I never saw his face. He had dark hair, but it wasn't Serge (the only guy on our team with dark hair). Often, I'd say things to encourage my teammates or to thank them for helping me through sections - and I remember several times where I kept thinking that I had lost my mind because I couldn't remember the "fifth teammate's" name. It was such an odd sensation - so very clear that there was another person with us, but every time that I consciously thought about it and tried to remember his name or wanted to check and make sure he made it through a section ok or went to take a picture of him, he wasn't there. Not sure what exactly happened here, but it sure makes me think that there's more going on in our world and/or our minds than we consciously realize. Hmmm - something to think about...